Filed under: portal.xn--b8qr95do2b.com — jane @ March 21, 2010 edit
I have been with my boyfriend for nearly a year and a half and he's black. Being as my family is rather racist, i decided to make sure that me and this guy were serious before telling them his color, which my boyfriend was so wonderful and cool about. However I have decided once we hit that two year marker, it's time for the family to know.
I love my family, and I respect their stupid close-minded decision to be the way they are, but it kills me. They like black people, they have black friends, they just don't agree in mixing races in relationships. It's ridiculous, I know.
Question is, how should I break it to them? I want to be respectful yet stern. If they say bad things about the boyfriend who has done so much for me, and been so great, I'm certainly going to defend him at all ends...but I would like to find a way for it not to escalate in that direction...any ideas?Your family is right. Get rid of him and stay with your own kind.I seriously suggest having a talk with you parents about this matter. Do they know you have a boyfriend? If not, then that should be the first thing that should be mentioned. If they know this, then gradually introduce his ethnicity into the conversation. You could choose to do this wish a hypothetical question such as "what would you do if I decided to date someone outside my race?"
Or you could choose to talk to the parent that seems to be more accepting of interracial dating. I think they should meet your boyfriend (in a public place), and that way, show them why you like him and that he is a good guy. Perhaps you should ask them to consider your happiness. You could be miserable with a guy of the same race as you, or happy with a guy who is of a different race. I mean, when it comes down to it, your parents got to choose who they dated, why can't you be allowed the same freedom of choice? Its only fair.....Dont start by saying.. "hey mom and day, my boyfriend is black." Start talking about him like, "I've been seeing this guy who is wonderful. he does this and this and I really love him." I don't think you should have waited 2 years, but there's no turning back time. Take a few days/weeks to hype him up and let your family see how much you love him before you bring him over. Let them WANT to meet him and then break the ice. Chances are, it will be an argument, but if it escalates, tell them "hey I love you and respect you, but I love him too. This is my life and my descision, and even though you disagree, I would like for you to respect me too."Your parents aren't close minded, they just have a tribalism mindset.
These situations can happen to any race, some people really value their heritage and donâ ™t want to crossbreed, look at some native tribes, and orthodox Jews. These situations happen in every race.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/TribalismYou should tell your family that nobody shouldn't judge by the color of their skin but by the content of their character. Being racist is just wrong.Speaking as a person who also feels strongly that the races shouldn't mix, I have to tell you that if I my daughter had decided to date someone of another race despite knowing how I felt about it, she would no longer be welcome in my home. I feel that strongly about it and your parents may as well, so you may want to prepare yourself for that reality. They may cut off contact with you completely if you continue to date this black man. Also remember that this guy may not even be in your life in six months, but your parents are your parents. If it comes right down to it, which relationship are you willing to sacrifice? Are you really willing to choose this man you have only been with for two years over your parents who have been there for your entire life to date? I don't know if you have considered this or not, but I thought I would put it out there. Just some food for thought.dont know what to say... u know ur family more than us and if u dont feel comfortable telling them about ur hot blck boyfriend u must almost sense their reaction. just take him home for dinner with ur parents and pop it out, eat and start the dramaa
forget about ur parents reaction when they realize that u have been sleeping with him for so long time, want to get marry or when u guys want to have a kid.. there is gonna be real drama
Tell them he is a human and not a dog or goat. You aren't mixing anything, because he is the same as you, you two are humans.
just bring him home, they're not gonna say anything to his face are theyLet them know how much you love him and how much it would hurt You if they disapprove of your relationship with himHow is this racist?#If you have any other info about this subject , Please add it free.# |
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